Day 270 of 365: feel the suck. get the prize.

My boyfriend is a generally happy person. He lives his life in the middle numbers on the 1-10 scale. That’s kind of his base level of existence. When I get in wonky places, he’s able to easily snap me out of them. He’ll call me on my shit if I’m having a pity party, or […]

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Day 249 of 365: cutting ties, and holding on for dear life

I hate that I struggle with suicidal shit sometimes. I really, really do. For a long time I didn’t. It was like an old friend to me. Now it’s more like a black hole… Or a magnet that attracts all my joy and flushes it. I haven’t wanted to write about it because I’m too […]

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Day 115 of 365: I write because…

I don’t write because I want to; I write because I have to. I share my words and thoughts and feelings in as transparent of a way as possible on any given day because, if I don’t, I can feel the words dancing under my skin… Painting graffiti inside my veins… Sketching doodles inside the […]

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Day 90! of 365: when old patterns fight good things (“upper limiting”)

It’s easy to forget how far I’ve come. Especially with perfectionistic tendencies and being a HIGH SCORE A+ ACHIEVER person, I can easily mark “NEEDS IMPROVEMENT” on something every day. Also, I am hyper aware of the person I want to become… So much so that I lose track of the beauty of who I am […]

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Day 79 of 365: my boobs inspired me to write a book.

I had my breast implants removed a little over three months ago, and my life has freakin’ transformed. Prior to surgery, I was in constant pain, had the energy of a sloth, and dealt with a slew of other ailments. The implants had caused an autoimmune disorder (“Breast Implant Illness” or BII), and my health deteriorated […]

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Day 65 of 365: off with her head!

I  woke up this morning after about 3 hours of sleep feeling a fire within me. It’s a fire I haven’t felt in a few weeks. (It’s a little spark more than a fire. I don’t want to breathe too hard and blow it out.) In the past, I’d say, “THE DEPRESSIVE EPISODE IS LEAVING! […]

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