…And your then-boyfriend had to tackle you to the ground and quietly convince you to leave? And you pushed the automatic doors off their hinges because they just weren’t opening fast enough JUST LIKE NOTHING EVER WORKED OUT FOR YOU ANYWAY? No? Oh. That’s right. That was me. See… After my spontaneous spiritual awakening… PAUSE BUTTON. […]
I mean, a big part of my confusions came from being an empath. I’m an intuitively and energetically and emotionally sensitive being, able to pick up on subtle shifts from others’ feelings. This is a beautiful gift when harnessed correctly, and yet an exhausting curse when misunderstood or not healthily maintained.
I lived many years in the illusion that I could control whether you liked me. I wanted everyone to like me or want me or want to be me. My sense of worth came from if I thought I’d impressed you. If a post had a lot of likes or if I made someone laugh, I’d feel as though I’d earned my keep that day. As if my life isn’t worth living if I’m not making some substantial difference in millions of people’s lives.
Here we go! A third video! The first one took 15-20 hours. The second took 12. And this one took around 10! Getting more efficient, learning a lot, and am excited to see how the month-from-now videos look! Check out this less than 10 minute super fun comic/cartoon about how to re-frame COMPARISON.
So. I got my breast implants out almost a year ago now, and living with tiny natural boobies is a rather new experience for me. Part of this experience is me being able to, like, feel things. With my nipple region. Praise baby Jesus. Another part of this is that I’ve tried 30 different bras […]
I’m learning that I’m kind of an odd bird. Like, I’ve worked really hard to expand my awareness and become less… I dunno… overanalytical or contradicting. And to overall tone down the inherent crazy female brain I have. I hesitate to write something like that because I anticipate someone being like “THIS IS THE PROBLEM. […]
I know I’m here to speak. You could ask 15 year old Jen, 25 year old Jen, or yesterday Jen what she’s here to do, and the answer would be something along the lines of: “write, speak, and teach.” Except there’d be progressively less passive aggressive attitude as the age of each Jen increased. I […]
I hate that I struggle with suicidal shit sometimes. I really, really do. For a long time I didn’t. It was like an old friend to me. Now it’s more like a black hole… Or a magnet that attracts all my joy and flushes it. I haven’t wanted to write about it because I’m too […]
There’s so much I want to do. People I want to hang out with, and new folks I want to meet. There is so much I want to learn. Books I want to read, and museums I want to visit. There is so much I want to experience. Countries I want to see, and mountains […]
I don’t write because I want to; I write because I have to. I share my words and thoughts and feelings in as transparent of a way as possible on any given day because, if I don’t, I can feel the words dancing under my skin… Painting graffiti inside my veins… Sketching doodles inside the […]