Day 107 of 365: Sometimes I wonder…

Sometimes, when I meet new people, I look at their teeth and their eyes. I wonder what their smile is hiding, I wonder the last time they cried, and I wonder what would happen if I wrapped them in a warm, open-hearted hug. I wonder about their insecurities and the narrative currently running through their […]

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Day 105 of 365: hindsight and humility and ouchy realizations

There was always a certain kind of person I despised. I considered them “bad” people, heartless people, selfish people, and so on. These were the folks who would take advantage of kind, giving humans; the folks who broke hearts without warning or explanation; those who made everything about them and flew the victim flag way up […]

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Day 101 of 365: why I cut my hair at 2:30am.

3.5 years since my spontaneous spiritual awakening, and there are still days of these intense “oh shit…” realizations. It’s like, on a spiritual/emotional/mental level, I’ve somehow hit the ZOOM OUT button and gotten a clearer view of myself, who I am, and who I’m not. Oh–And who I’ve been trying to be. And it’s not […]

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Day 99 of 365: Larry Leaves — a children’s story

Here is the first part of a children’s story I began last year. This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt excited while reading something I’ve written, and excited to finish it. Larry Leaves Written by Jen Butler “Don’t make me do it!” Larry screamed. “Please… Don’t…” His voice turned to a whimper […]

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Day 95 of 365: “do nothing” — advice from 90-year-old me.

I walked into the room, though the silence of my footsteps made it seem I was floating. I remember it was breezy, surprisingly breezy. The air was fresh and circulating in a gentle yet convincing whirlwind between the two open windows on either side of the bed. There were thin curtains caressing each window, white […]

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Day 94 of 365: “i’m fine, thanks” and other lies.

I tend to put too much pressure on myself. As if this one post or this one speech or this one BJ or this one dinner is going to be the be-all-end-all for a person or, or life-changing for a group of people. I constantly pressure myself to perform. A lot of times, I hesitate […]

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Day 93 of 365: random lines from favorite books

One of my favorite things to do is pick up a book, flip to a page, and read the first line or couple lines I see. I frequently get chills because of how spot-on the readings are for what I’m going through at the time. So, That’s what I’m gonna’ do with this entry. Leaving […]

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Day 92 of 365: brevity + procrastina…tion

Hi. I’m elbows deep in a writing project. I’m tired. It’s past my bedtime; even past my second bedtime. I’m dedicated to this blog and to the writing project. Here I am, showing up for each. Which makes me sound awesome. And I am. But also, I waited until the last minute for both, after […]

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Day 91 of 365: I had a good conversation with my knee today.

Our bodies are constantly talking to us. Injuries, headaches, mental and emotional discomfort, that annoying lower back pain that won’t go away… They’re all messages. Maybe we’re carrying too much emotional baggage and our back pain is trying to inform us to let that shit go. Maybe we are absorbing rather than releasing anger and […]

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