I’ve tended to seek comfort being alone. When sad or vulnerable or hurting or scared, I’d find solace in my introvert time. I’d unplug for a few days, turn off all electronics, sit in the messiness, work through shit, come to realizations, and then take a shower, shave, do my hair, and turn my phone […]
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My mom has what they call a green thumb, meaning she can grow all the things. I used to joke that mine was pitch black, like frost bite. I killed plants that were supposed to be hearty and able to withstand even the worst plant-parents. My poor plant-parenting skills are closely related to why I […]
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Reaching a point of burnout, I think, shows that I stopped surrendering/trusting chance at one point. Like, I was saying that I was trusting and surrendering… And I was doing yoga and sniffing calming essential oils and meditating and and and… But today I realized I just wasn’t feeling it. Everything felt like a necessary task, which is […]
Read MoreAnd then I went on to tell her my exact plans for this blog. Something along the lines of…
“I’ll ideally get lots of followers which will make selling book #2 much easier.”
She then did what she does best, which is call me on my shit. Because, in one sentence, I contradicted the entire focus of this blog. Cool.
That’s why this journey is a challenging one for me. Because I like things like algebraic equations and knowing the correct way to open ground lamb, because they both have only one correct answer.
I like having control. Or, at least, the illusion of control.
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It’s rather frustrating when things don’t go my way.
And I don’t just mean in the grand scheme of life, where I figured I’d be a millionaire by now. Sure, that’s frustrating. But what really grinds my gears and tests my years of therapy work is when people do things differently than I do.
And I don’t mean how they dress (unless a man has a shirt tucked in with no belt, an offense which is punishable by severe silent judgment) or what their cultural or spiritual beliefs are.
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