Day 69 (teehee) of 365: throwing out the eraser

“I’m totally closed off to you right now,” I said to my therapist. “Okay,” she said, in her normal, allowing tone. She lightly smiled in the way that she does when she’s excited that I’m expressing distaste (because that’s a challenge for me–to tell someone they’ve pissed me off). “Last week, I was in here… […]

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Day 64 of 365: insert title here

I am so far out of my comfort zone in so many aspects of my life that I am not even sure who I am anymore. And I think maybe that’s a good thing. I am redefining myself. The hardest thing about growth is the people who don’t understand it. Those who are close to […]

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Day 25 of 365: fantasies and realities

I’ve been on a journey of self-allowance for quite some time now, and each day brings new surprises. What I mean by “self-allowance” is that I’m learning to accept myself, in all my glory. And, since I kept feelings/desires/fantasies hidden for so many years, I must first focus on allowance. Allowing those aspects of myself to […]

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Day 19 of 365: divorcing illusions of grandeur

Have I mentioned that this 365 days of embracing the unknown + writing about it journey is sort of rocking my world? It is. And it’s only day nineteen. Gulp. Part of me wants to beat myself up about not posting a doodle for yesterday’s blog entry. BUT JEN. EVERYONE LOVES YOUR DOODLES. THAT’S WHAT […]

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Day 18 of 365: the prison and freedom of pain

I am in the midst of a paradigm shift. Currently, as I write this, I’m only partially present. I feel tinglies in the back of my skull and I feel as though my cells are dancing faster than usual. My heart is open and I can feel energy pouring into and out of it. This […]

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Day 11 of 365: Canoodling with discomfort.

I sat in my backless computer chair, lower back hunched with just enough exhaustion for the day to feel productive. I thought of how I was too tired to write. I then stopped and asked myself if that was true. I guessed it wasn’t, since I frequently (quite literally) write in my sleep. It’s closely […]

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