making new decisions, dialing it down, and stubborn nipples

So. I got my breast implants out almost a year ago now, and living with tiny natural boobies is a rather new experience for me. Part of this experience is me being able to, like, feel things. With my nipple region. Praise baby Jesus. Another part of this is that I’ve tried 30 different bras […]

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Day 287 of 365: just do the damn thing.

I know I’m here to speak. You could ask 15 year old Jen, 25 year old Jen, or yesterday Jen what she’s here to do, and the answer would be something along the lines of: “write, speak, and teach.” Except there’d be progressively less passive aggressive attitude as the age of each Jen increased. I […]

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Day 262 of 365: the importance of “the dark night of the soul”

I’ve heard that a dark night of the soul is when all our worst fears manifest… And we live through them. And, just like a character in a movie, we are challenged to rise from the ashes and flourish into a better version of ourselves. For years, my primary fears were external… And ego-based. My […]

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Day 98 of 365: “be weak”

“When did this happen?” the EA (Emotions Anonymous) member asked me. “Last night,” I said. She was visibly shocked. “Wow! You’re doing way better than I was in that situation. I was a mess. You’re really holding it together!” She said this like it was a good thing. “My issue isn’t with being able to […]

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Day 94 of 365: “i’m fine, thanks” and other lies.

I tend to put too much pressure on myself. As if this one post or this one speech or this one BJ or this one dinner is going to be the be-all-end-all for a person or, or life-changing for a group of people. I constantly pressure myself to perform. A lot of times, I hesitate […]

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Day 91 of 365: I had a good conversation with my knee today.

Our bodies are constantly talking to us. Injuries, headaches, mental and emotional discomfort, that annoying lower back pain that won’t go away… They’re all messages. Maybe we’re carrying too much emotional baggage and our back pain is trying to inform us to let that shit go. Maybe we are absorbing rather than releasing anger and […]

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Day 79 of 365: my boobs inspired me to write a book.

I had my breast implants removed a little over three months ago, and my life has freakin’¬†transformed. Prior to surgery, I was in constant pain, had the energy of a sloth, and dealt with a slew of other ailments. The implants had caused an autoimmune disorder (“Breast Implant Illness” or BII), and my health deteriorated […]

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Day 76 of 365: Breaking wide open.

Yes. 365 days of embracing the unknown and learning about chance and letting serendipity lead the ways sounds so FUN AND RAINBOWY. IT IS ALSO THE MOST CHALLENGING TRANSFORMATION I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED. Like… What. The fuck. Is happening. In my life. I feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon and am flailing around […]

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