Sometimes I burn out. I’ll feel excited, find a strand of inspiration, and then hold on tight for dear life while getting flailed around in the wind. Like a kite. Or like a surfer on a wave. I’ll ride it until I crash. And then keep holding on. I’ve become aware of this tendency. I’ve […]
Read MoreHello, Friends! This is my favorite one so far! What tricks do you use when you’re caught up in your brain thoughts? Would love to hear!
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I was terrified to make this video. No, that’s not true. I enjoyed making this video. I was terrified to post it. See, I seem to do well until people respond well to something I’ve done. Once that has happened in the past, I’ve been like “WELP NOW THE PRESSURE IS ON TO PERFORM.” Plus, I set […]
Read MoreFrom the outside, Carl appeared to be quite similar to the other blobs. Really, the main difference was how he saw the world, how he felt, and what he thought. But, since this was all internal, no one else could see it. And they certainly didn’t understand it. The more he opened his mouth and […]
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Striving for a life of awareness, of forward progression, of knowing better and doing better, of being mindful and understanding and loving while also having healthy boundaries and self care without being too selfish, of communicating openly and honestly and sharing emotion without speaking irrationally from emotion, of trusting and having faith even when evidence […]
Read MoreI know I’m here to speak. You could ask 15 year old Jen, 25 year old Jen, or yesterday Jen what she’s here to do, and the answer would be something along the lines of: “write, speak, and teach.” Except there’d be progressively less passive aggressive attitude as the age of each Jen increased. I […]
Read MoreI didn’t pray a lot as a child, but I do remember one prayer I repeated often and desperately: “DEAR GOD, PLEASE MAKE ME POPULAR.” That was my focus. I was so desperate for people to like me. And not just a few people. A LOT of people. ALL of the people. All of my […]
Read MoreI hate that I struggle with suicidal shit sometimes. I really, really do. For a long time I didn’t. It was like an old friend to me. Now it’s more like a black hole… Or a magnet that attracts all my joy and flushes it. I haven’t wanted to write about it because I’m too […]
Read More*trigger warning for those struggling with depression/suicidality* If I have to hear myself talk about addiction or sobriety or healing or authenticity one more fucking time, I will scream. And hide in the mountains somewhere. I am so bored by myself, and by what I write. As if I’m some pro on emotions and self-healing. […]
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I tend to put too much pressure on myself. As if this one post or this one speech or this one BJ or this one dinner is going to be the be-all-end-all for a person or, or life-changing for a group of people. I constantly pressure myself to perform. A lot of times, I hesitate […]
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