Day 112 of 365 days of relinquishing control: the point

What if the point is to take the pain we feel and transmute it into something beautiful? To express our pain, to sing it, paint it, scream it, rap it? To challenge our pain with sleeves of tattoos and crazy hair and colorful, frayed clothes? To translate our pain into poetry, prose, a magical world […]

Read More

Day 95 of 365: “do nothing” — advice from 90-year-old me.

I walked into the room, though the silence of my footsteps made it seem I was floating. I remember it was breezy, surprisingly breezy. The air was fresh and circulating in a gentle yet convincing whirlwind between the two open windows on either side of the bed. There were thin curtains caressing each window, white […]

Read More

Day 74 of 365: “dear life partner” — a blast-from-the-past letter

I’ve been working on my second book, entitled “big boobs + thigh gap: a journey beyond conventional beauty”. And by “working on” I mean aptly avoiding for two months. When searching for it today, I came upon a few other documents that acted as excellent distractions from the writing my heart really wanted to do. I […]

Read More

Day 69 (teehee) of 365: throwing out the eraser

“I’m totally closed off to you right now,” I said to my therapist. “Okay,” she said, in her normal, allowing tone. She lightly smiled in the way that she does when she’s excited that I’m expressing distaste (because that’s a challenge for me–to tell someone they’ve pissed me off). “Last week, I was in here… […]

Read More

Day 42 of 365: I chose the good spoon today.

I have a favorite spoon. It’s modest, even shorter than the others inhabiting the small spoon section of the silverware drawer. Its top is round, not quite a perfect circle but close enough to remind me of one each time I view it, and it’s a silver color that dons both shine and wear. It’s […]

Read More

Day 14 of 365: “Wind” — A poem

Fresh, warm, and cushioned with humidity, It moves at its own pace. Without obvious design, as if an interpretive dance, It twists And turns Into intricate shapes, Like a drawing where pen never leaves page. It does this for no one. Its whirlwind romance with scattered leaves Is not to impress the sun Or moon […]

Read More

Day 6 of 365: “The Pause” – A Poem

The Pause   The mind whispers to me in clichĂ©s, Snippets of repetitive phrases Learned from a lifetime as a sponge. Sometimes I speak back, Challenging its elementary wording, And it pauses, wide-eyed, Like a child who was interrupted While deeply immersed In a game of make-believe.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Part of me fears posting a […]

Read More