Day 20 of 30: Wherever you go, there you are.

I remember the ride back from the airport. My parents picked me up after a three week trip to England. They funded the flight for me and hoped I’d find some relief there. I did, but not in the way they’d hoped. “I discovered something amazing,” I told them. “What’s that?” “I was still depressed […]

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Day 19 of 30: leaning into discomfort vs. trusting your gut

I am a pretty literal person. I take things at face value when I can, and often without many hues of color. It’s why I love to write. I can control what I’m trying to convey when I have the ability to type it all out, see it in front of me, read and reread […]

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Day 18 of 30: the freedom of realizing how tiny we are

Very little is the end of the world. Focus is an amazing thing. The mind can take a tiny detail and zoom in so tightly that it seems giant. This is how a minor annoyance can overtake our awareness and, for instance, overcome deep love for a person. It’s about what we choose to focus […]

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Day 17 of 30: On doing the scary thing

“Thunder thighs.” “Tree trunk legs.” “Why do you waddle like that?” “Your ass isn’t as nice as it looks.” “Your thighs are so big.” “You have such tiny knees for such big legs.” … I’d like to say that these were easy comments to forget… That the multitude of compliments I received outweighed these stinging […]

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Day 16 of 30: The power of “I don’t know.”

Geez. I can get so wrapped up in trying to figure out why I feel the way I feel. I think it’s in an effort to control the situation, or to at least have an illusion of control. There are times when a trigger is clear. I’m able to feel the verbalize the precise moment […]

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Day 13 of 30: It’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay for you to not be at your A game. As my boyfriend says, “You can’t always be a super hero. Let me help carry the burden during your in-between times.” And that’s what we do for each other in partnerships and friendships. Part of taking care of ourselves means giving ourselves permission to […]

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DAY 12 of 30: There is no award for being hard on yourself.

Since becoming mindful of the way I talk to and about myself, I’ve begun recognizing bullying self-talk in others as well. I want to shake them and say, “BE NICE TO MY FRIEND.” I’ll sometimes offer a gentle nudge, saying something like, “Is there a kinder way you can word that to yourself?” Some are […]

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DAY ELEVEN: On doing the thing you’re avoiding

May, Myself, and I: A Self-Love Experiment DAY ELEVEN: On doing the thing you’re avoiding. One of my favorite exercises when I’m feeling squirrelly and discontent is to make a list of all the shit that’s stressing me out or that I’ve been avoiding or need to do. I just brain dump it all onto […]

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DAY TEN: Give yourself permission to be bad at something.

My whole life I’ve wanted to learn to fight. I’d watch The Matrix
and be like, “I wish I could fight like Trinity.” And then go back to reading books or doodling. For decades I longed to get back into martial arts but was too afraid of the awkward learning phase. Finally, at the age of 31, I decided to give it a try…

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