Day 30 of 30: IT BETTER BE GOOD.

June 2, 2019.Reading time 11 minutes.

I have effectively avoided writing this post for two days. Why? Because I want it to be good. “Thirty days of focusing on self-love and having multiple breakthroughs, Jen. What are you going to tell your audience of 16 people? THEY AWAIT YOUR BRILLIANCE. This is the final day and should be a culmination of […]

Day 29 of 30: On wanting more.

May 30, 2019.Reading time 3 minutes.

She had always wanted more. More than she had. More than she thought possible. More than she thought she deserved. More than others said feasible. She wanted more. She spent each minute planning, analyzing, digging, and hoping to find what she was looking for. She was deeply dedicated and hardworking. She assumed this made her […]

Day 28 of 30: Clarity comes when I stop trying to do its job.

May 28, 2019.Reading time 12 minutes.

I am learning that Clarity comes without trying. When not forced. It’s a lot like bubbles. If I chase the bubbles and grasp at them, they’ll pop and float away. This knowledge doesn’t stop the old pattern of me trying to figure everything out, to force Clarity. When I get foggy about something or there’s […]

Day 27 of 30: My happy looks different than your happy.

May 28, 2019.Reading time 9 minutes.

I am so freaking excited that I only have two days left of this month, and that the May, Myself, and I Self-Love Experiment will come to a close. I mean, I’m still gonna’ love myself and dig deep and do healing work because that’s who I am. But setting something as charged as “self-love” […]

Day 26 of 30: Remember that time you melted down in the Kroger self checkout lane and screamed profanity while punching the machine…?

May 27, 2019.Reading time 9 minutes.

…And your then-boyfriend had to tackle you to the ground and quietly convince you to leave? And you pushed the automatic doors off their hinges because they just weren’t opening fast enough JUST LIKE NOTHING EVER WORKED OUT FOR YOU ANYWAY? No? Oh. That’s right. That was me. See… After my spontaneous spiritual awakening… PAUSE BUTTON. […]

Day 25 of 30: on celebrating [even tiny] victories

May 26, 2019.Reading time 9 minutes.

Humans are adaptable creatures. We see our individual selves every day. We are constantly experiencing our inner world, witnessing our lives through our subjective viewpoint. Oftentimes, we are unable to recognize improvements or change. If we do something drastic – like chopping off hair or getting a new tattoo – we see it. And we […]

Day 24 of 30: strength through tenderness

May 25, 2019.Reading time 8 minutes.

I’ve always been drawn to the studded belt, all-black wardrobe, motorcycle-riding, bad-ass boss bitch character. The one who isn’t afraid to put people in their place, who speaks her mind, and who grabs life by the balls. When she wants something, she gets it. When she sets her mind to something, she attains it. She […]

Day 23 of 30: on being human

May 24, 2019.Reading time 8 minutes.

Step 8 of the 12-step program I’m in is to make a list of all people I’ve harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. My list was 200 items long, and I felt deeply ashamed to share it with another person. Alas, I did. One by one, I went through and explained […]

Day 22 of 30: On meeting people where they are

May 23, 2019.Reading time 9 minutes.

Hi there I’d like you to accept me no matter what mood I’m in, please, and then go ahead and always be in the mood *I* want you to be in. KTHX. It seems snooty when said aloud like that, but a lot of people unknowingly live this way. I did for a long time […]

Day 21 of 30: Fun is where the freedom is + the power of rejection

May 22, 2019.Reading time 9 minutes.

External validation has been a big drug for me. The responses of others could lift me up or crush me in an instant. What’s funny is that these comments from people are just in passing. It’s not important or life-changing for them. They probably never think about it again. Meanwhile, I’ve deleted social media before […]