Day 287 of 365: just do the damn thing.

I know I’m here to speak. You could ask 15 year old Jen, 25 year old Jen, or yesterday Jen what she’s here to do, and the answer would be something along the lines of: “write, speak, and teach.” Except there’d be progressively less passive aggressive attitude as the age of each Jen increased.

I want to do public speaking, and I’ve actively held myself back from doing it. I want to make a full living off of my creative endeavors, and have gotten a lot of practice sabotaging myself.

I’ve been working through a wonderful 12 Step Program and have been working with a sponsor to clear the wreckage of my past. The program helps me see the decisions and patterns which brought me to my current state… And then teaches me how to, y’know, MAKE BETTER DECISIONS.

And so… I started simple. I made THIS RECORDING and posted it to SoundCloud. There’s no image with the recording. I don’t have a name for the channel, or any idea where it’s going.

But I know I’m learning a lot, and I’m hopeful others could benefit from (or at least giggle at) my experience.

Whatever dream you have or whichever goal/idea has been tickling your brain for a while… JUST DO THE DAMN THING. Take a step toward it. A tiny, definitive step.

Have a listen to the recording. It’s about 7 1/2 minutes long, has a small number of cuss words, and discusses my victory of getting off of the floor and OUT of self pity, and making it all the way to my computer chair to record something (ANYTHING–JUST GET THAT SHIT DONE) and write this post.

And with that, I’ll press “Publish.”

It’s imperfect, but it’s something. And that’s better than sitting in a pile of sulk, complaining that my life isn’t where I want it to be.

One step at a time…


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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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