Day 100 of 365: core desired feelings

I’ve been working through this kickass + challenging book over the last month:

It’s changing everything for me.

Or, rather, I’m changing everything for me as a result of the work I’m doing with this book.

The first part is a normal book, explaining the importance (and necessity, really) of honing in on the way we want to feel in life and then making decisions that are in alignment with those feelings. The second half is a workbook that guides the reader on a beautiful, free-flowing journey to discover (or uncover, really) the main ways each of us desires to feel. (Cuz’, y’know, our feelings lead us toward our soul.)

It seems simple.

And I logically knew about this prior to reading the book. Yea yea. Focus on the way I want to feel and then FEEL that way.

That was my mindset. I figured I had to tune into how I would feel in the future when my dreams had come true… And then force myself to feel that way right now as if all of those dreams had already come true.

As if I’d fool the Universe, or something, based on my repeating “I AM AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKER AND WRITER AND I AM COMPENSATED GREATLY FOR MY GIFTS” and pretending I already had that sweet beach house and the trip to Thailand planned.

I was on the right track, but it didn’t click until reading this book that the affirmations and the things and even the dreams themselves aren’t what to focus on. And the goal certainly isn’t to pretend to feel a certain way. This creates cognitive dissonance and, honestly, has made me fucking miserable. I constantly felt like I was living a lie.

The things/experiences/accomplishments aren’t really what we want. The true craving is to feel the way those things/experiences/accomplishments will make us feel.

If I go through life thinking that being a NY Times best-selling author is going to bring me happiness, then two things will likely happen. #1, I’ll make NY Times best-selling status because I will never give up. #2, upon achieving that goal I’ll immediately set another all in an attempt to chase the feeling I’d hoped it would give me.

So what happens when we flip it?

What happens when I instead look at the goals I have and the things I want… And even the ouchy things that have happened and times where I felt not great… And use this information about myself to narrow down to how I deeply desire to feel, at my core.

Through the workbook, I discovered my five core desired feelings. It took weeks of effort to arrive here… And switching them up every day or so until the remaining ones all gave me tinglies.

(Note to my fellow perfectionists and proofreaders: I purposefully chose “joy” instead of “joyful” because it felt more powerful to say “I desire to feel joy” than “I desire to feel joyful.”)

HERE IS WHERE IT GETS FUN.

I have a tendency to get hung up on what the “right decision” is. This can range from whether or not to order a quesadilla versus the spinach salad… to career moves and big changes.

NOW?

I have my compass.

When I arrive at a “SHOULD I DO THIS?” or “SHOULD I DO A, B, OR C?” I can try each of them on for size and feel it out. Does this make me feel the way I want to feel?

The clarity coming from this is… Mind-blowing. Seriously. This has shifted my mind from the driver’s seat to instead being utilized as one of many tools to assist me in my journey toward self-discovery and actualization. Now? My heart/soul is in the front seat.

I’m still new to this.

And I’m fucking loving it because it TOTALLY bypasses the typical over-analytical feedback loop I get stuck in.

If you feel foggy and are ready to have life feel, y’know, easier and more flowy and more (INSERT YOUR CORE DESIRED FEELINGS HERE)… Which then in turn makes you SO UBER ATTRACTIVE to the Universe that you magnetize all the things/experiences/accomplishments anyway… Easily…

Then grab a copy of that book.

And talk to me about it, because I’m totally a fan.

~J