Day 80 of 365: start before you’re ready. — a motivational rant.

I am really feeling the benefits of all of the retraining work I’ve been doing over the years… Specifically regarding limiting beliefs such as “I can’t make a living doing what I love” (saying that feels icky and gross now, whereas it used to be totally resonant). Beliefs around money, around receptivity, around love/commitment, and around my life path… are all being rewritten to:

I am fully open to give and receive love.

I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.

Being successful is safe and good.

It is safe to receive.

It is safe to be wealthy.

My gifts and services are of high value and are worthy of massive compensation.


I’ve logically known that I can make a living creatively, and yet my subconscious programming was set to the opposite of this.

What this means is that I’d be consciously pursuing opportunities (or researching/thinking/talking about opportunities), but then my brain would fall into an old pattern… And I’d find a way to sabotage whatever I was working on.

Brain was essentially like…


Following which, something would switch in my brain, and I would:

-get physically or emotionally sick
-sleep for a LOT of hours
-ignore the project altogether
-over-commit/schedule myself so that creative project fell aside
-suddenly hate the project I was working on
-get 100% inspired by a completely separate idea and jump into that one instead

Essentially, Brain (who only wants to please the Manager/Subconscious) saw a discrepancy in my actions and my programming, and pressed this button:


And I unwittingly listened.

Only in hindsight am I able to see how many times I sabotaged myself. I did this in relationships, in business endeavors, and most of all… With my creative projects.

Thankfully, I’ve learned.

So… I did lots of positive affirmation stuff. I always have encouraging sentences written in dry erase markers on any mirrors I own. I have these sentences as backgrounds on my phone and computer. I start each day saying them. And within the last two months, I’ve been utilizing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), or “tapping.”

It works by tapping on certain acupressure points to release whichever belief or concern, and then tapping through the areas again while repeating an upgraded belief or interpretation of a situation.

If this intrigues you, here’s an awesome book:

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I was skeptical at first. I bought this book in June of 2015, read about 30 pages… Up until the point where the author says something like, “The limiting beliefs may not want you to even finish this book. It’s okay; we’ve got a tapping sequence for that, too.”

I don’t know what happened… But I somehow forgot about the book. For two years.

I went from being fully immersed in it… To being spooked by the promise of a self-sabotaging tendency (to not finish what I had started) disappearing.

A couple months ago, a dear friend invited me to a Money Mindset workshop, which was all about EFT and retraining the brain.

I started doing that shit URRY DAY.

And then I was miserable.


I had headaches and stomachaches and was exhausted and was crying. It made zero sense to me at the time. I see now, though, that I was detoxing. On a cellular and energetic and emotional and mental level, I was detoxing off of these old beliefs.

And these aren’t just my beliefs, you see. The beliefs we’re running off of are part of the collective consciousness, and/or stem from our parents or parents’ parents or beyond.

(True story. Studies in epigenetics show that traumatic experiences stay in our DNA for 4-5 generations. This means that many of us still have trauma from The Great Depression in our freakin’ CELLS.)

No wonder we have so many hoarders and so many overweight people, right? There’s this frightened hamster in our brain that’s like: “TAKE AND KEEP ALL THE FOODS AND THINGS. WHO KNOWS WHEN WE’LL BE ABLE TO EAT OR BUY THINGS AGAIN.”

On top of that, there’s marketing and societal pressures on top of often un-supportive parents/teachers all telling us (whether verbally or subliminally) that:

Women must be thin and smooth.

Men must be strong and emotionless.

Men must save women.

You must have a job you hate in order to make money.

Making a living as an artist is nearly impossible. (Think how frequently you’ve heard “starving artist” versus “fulfilled artist”…)

The goal is to go to college and then get an office job and then get married and then have children.

It can feel like everything is working against you when you make the decision to pursue your dream or live a passion-filled life.



Let me explain.

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This isn’t some spiritual woo stuff; this is science.

So, down at an atomic level, we’re all vibrating at a certain frequency.

angry dude

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Y’know when you start your day on the wrong foot, and then the whole fuckin’ day seems to go to shit?

This is because, after so many painful/shitty/annoying things occurred, your vibration lowered to a frequency of  TODAY SUCKS AND BAD STUFF HAPPENS TO ME.

Guess what you attract when you’re vibrating there?

MO BAD STUFF. And other whiny people.

Which means that the opposite holds true.


Back to the pursuing your dream point I was making:


If you’re anything like I was, you’ve got a lot of old subconscious programs vibrating at the “No one supports me” and “I’m all alone” and “Everything’s working against me” frequencies.

This isn’t an overnight retrain.

So even once you’ve made the conscious decision to take that leap of faith into your true calling (or to get fit or pursue a crush or what have you), you may run into some un-supportive people and disheartening situations.

This is because it takes effort to retrain those old beliefs. You’ve been believing them for decades; have patience with yourself during this rewriting process.

Now… Eventually, after however much work you need (in whichever approach works for you), you’ll suddenly begin attracting amazing people… Supportive people… And magical situations that you never thought could have happened to you.

And why is this?


All this is to say that: If you believe you can’t do it or if you feel immense resistance toward your dream or a passion or even a goal, it’s not your fault.

But it IS your responsibility.

You are the only person who can get yourself out of this. (Yes, hypnotherapists and psychotherapists and energy healers and the like can assist. But you have to be receptive and ready to do the work.)

Navigating an awakening is challenging. It takes hard work and dedication and believing that your hard work and dedication is working even when all current evidence (which is all a result of your past vibrational state) is showing the contrary. It takes a stubborn drive and commitment to self-love, as you continue paying it forward to your future self.

Eventually, you’ll catch up with what you’ve paid forward…

And you will be in alignment. In alignment with your passion and your goal and the people and situations that are best suited to assist you.

So… Jen. How the fuck do I start this retraining process?

It differs for everyone. I’ve got plenty of books to recommend for you and am happy to do an intuitive coaching session with you to get you moving in the most expansive direction.

But, in the meantime… Here’s one of my favorite approaches:

Start before you’re ready.

What I mean is… When you first get the spark of an idea:

I should go for a jog…

I should buy flowers for my girlfriend…

I should start a blog…


Before you can think about it or talk yourself out of it, do it. (I mean, assuming it’s a healthy, high-vibrational thing.)

And then… Keep going. Momentum is key to avoiding kickback from lower-vibrating beliefs.

Once you’ve taken a scary vulnerable step forward toward your goal, take another. And another. And another.

Don’t sit and analyze. This isn’t something to think your way through. This is something to act your way through. Taking uncertain, heart-motivated action is key to growth. It is uncomfortable, and was downright painful for me at first.

But I’m telling you…

The hard work is worth it.

The growing pains are worth it.

What is your heart begging you to do?



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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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