Day 78 of 365: the cool shit that’s happened by relinquishing control

Since starting this journey into the unknown and trusting the Universe to guide me toward my dreams (rather than trying to force everything), a lot has happened.

I’ve had to let go of most of the things I thought I knew. Growth and expansion is happening so fast that I soon as I grasp onto a concept as truth, the current I’m riding yanks me away from said truth.

Every day is a sense of reorientation.

And I realized yesterday that I’ve been focusing on the ouchy parts and the aspects of life that “aren’t there yet”. (I’m an Enneagram Type 1, which is The Reformer/The Perfectionist. This is my dominant personality type, so my innate tendency is to focus on what’s NOT YET PERFECT.)



Buy the code to take the test to discover your Enneagram type here.


First, here are some synchronistic wins that have happened. Y’know… The cool shit that even I couldn’t have seen coming.

  1. I was asked to lead a writing/story-sharing workshop at Kennesaw State University. Doing this felt more in-alignment than anything I’ve done in a long time.
  2. I was randomly given an opportunity to have my art on display in a financial advisor’s office for three months, after which there will be a gallery opening of my artwork! I received notification yesterday that he and his assistant love my work, and I’ll be dropping paintings off next week!
  3. I was randomly approached about doing a book signing for my book, imperfect. I was terrified and unprepared, and prevailed and did it anyway.
  4. A friend randomly gifted me by paying for my attendance to a Money Mindset workshop that has totally shifted my relationship with money and receptivity. (Thank you again!)
  5. A friendship that has been purely platonic for years suddenly transitioned into something more, sparked in part by a movie-like kiss under shooting stars. Here I’ve been seeking and searching for someone to complement/balance/support/adore me (and for me to complement/balance/support/adore as well)… And meanwhile there’s been someone right next to me the whole time.
  6. Through a friend’s experience with a meetup app, I now suddenly have a close-knit set of girlfriends who accept me for me… For the first time ever. Like… I don’t pretend I’m any way aside from my snarky, loving, perfectionistic self. And these ladies want what’s best for me. WHAT.
  7. Out of nowhere, my brother made me a new computer. My other one kept locking up and I kept losing my work, so he MADE ME a new computer from scratch. It’s so fast that I felt stupid the first week I used it.
  8. A woman reached out to me who’d read a blog post I made a few months ago about my journey with Breast Implant Illness. She informed me that she had her surgery yesterday to have her implants removed and is already feeling better. (I didn’t know this woman before she read my blog; a friend connected us.)
  9. An amazing human randomly connected me with another amazing human who wants me to paint paintings for her whole house! It’s the biggest commissioned project I’ve ever had. ALSO, the woman who I am painting for? Is spiritual woo like me. We talked on the phone for over an hour.
  10. I’ve lost 15+ pounds without focusing on it, at all. Like… All the sudden my pants were too big. (I HAVE NEVER been able to say this before. My whole life up until recently was obsessed about my body image. Once I let that obsession go, the weight went with it.)

There’s been other fun stuff, like finding a $20 bill on the floor… and a GIANT increase in how many awesome people I talk to. Back in the day, it felt like I was constantly interacting with rude people when out in public. Now I’m attracting all of the fun awesome quirky ones. Also, I’ve gotten more followers on this blog in two months than I had on my previous blog, which I’d had for two years.

What sticks out to you about the list of awesome stuff up there?

For me, I notice such phrases as…
I was asked…
I was randomly approached…
I was randomly given…
Out of nowhere…

What do all of these things have in common?
1. No matter how organized and in-control and aware I think I am, I had no way of seeing these blessings coming. If you had asked me the day prior if any of those were gonna’ happen, I’d have said no.
2. All of these were outside of me. These were blessings that happened TO me, gifts and opportunities that were given TO me.

I was going about my life, writing every day, focusing on getting healthy… Starting each morning by saying: “SOMETHING AMAZINGLY AWESOME IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME TODAY” and “Universe, show me where to go, show me what to do, show me what to say, and to whom” And all of these (and more) amazing situations have just… Presented themselves to me.

So it’s almost like my not forcing stuff is bringing about giant blessings.

It’s almost like the goal of this journey is, y’know, coming true. It’s happening. I’m trusting in my need to write and share… And everything else is spontaneously arranging itself to support my mission.

Chance is good and fun and sneaky.

And to think, I’m only 2.5 months in…

(I just heard “hold on tight!” in my head.)



P.S. I will REALLY invest my full belief in this Law of Attraction biz once I’m gifted my damn grasshopper origami. I’ve had it on my Order List from the Universe for, like, a year or more. 

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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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