Day 52 of 365: how to become spiritually fit


You know when you exercise, and it burns/hurts when you’re pushing your muscles and heart, and then you feel sore afterward? And you know how one of the best ways to help with the soreness is to exercise again? (And if you don’t, the soreness seems to last, like, two freakin’ weeks. And when you do any sort of sitting motion you’re like, “CURSE YOU, PAST SELF!!!!”) And, once you start seeing results, the burn of muscles and the pounding of your heart is no longer something you dread? Instead, it’s like… “I know what this is doing for me. I know that, by pushing my arms to muscle failure, my miraculous body will go to work to build more muscle.”

The pain becomes… Kind of enjoyable.

Try this next time you’re exercising and you hear that voice of “OMIGOD THIS HURTS IT IS THE WORST WHEN WILL IT END.” Feel into the pain, and see if you can shift your perspective of it. See it as a necessary discomfort in order to yield the results you want.


Daily… Often multiple times a day… I feel a constriction in my chest. Someone says something ouchy, or someone’s got some low vibe Monday feel going, or a thought triggers a memory from the past, and I start to shut down. Now, I consciously breathe into the constriction, lightly smile at whichever feeling I’m experiencing, lower my shoulders back, and open my heart.

There are times that this is physically painful. There are nights I’ve experienced where I am wide the fuck open, in the flow, and trusting each moment as it’s presented to me. And then the next morning, the front and back of my heart chakra (the middle of my chest and the upper/middle of my back) have been physically sore. And I’m like… “I know what this is doing for me. I know that, by pushing my heart to open wider and encompass more, my miraculous self will go to work to increase the energy flow further.”

There’s been a lot of pushing through fear during these last 52 days. Like, a lot. A lot a lot. And once I push through the fear, there’s this high… Similar to the adrenaline rush from pushing through resistance and going on that run or walk or gym visit.

And I’ve found that the key to keeping the momentum is to KEEP FUCKING GOING. Keep pushing through fear. Before even thinking about it. Before I can convince myself otherwise.

It’s like when you have the thought of, “I wonder if I should go for a walk…” YES. YES YOU SHOULD. GET YOUR ASS UP IMMEDIATELY AND DO IT BEFORE YOU CAN CONVINCE YOURSELF OTHERWISE.

Those initial thoughts are often intuitive guidance from our Inner Wisdom. And then the argument and slew of excuses that starts to rain on our Inspiration Parade is oftentimes fear. Fear is convincing.

Now… I hear a lot of people say stuff like, “FUCK FEAR!” and “Fear is the worst!”

I challenge that.

That fear comes from somewhere. Maybe it’s a fear of success because you were the smartest kid in your class and were made fun of. Maybe it’s a fear of getting thin and in shape because you dealt with sexual abuse and the extra weight is a physical shield. Maybe it’s a fear of receiving love because you’ve experienced alcoholic relationships where the amount of love given to you was inversely proportional to the amount of abuse.

When it comes down to it, Fear is trying to keep us safe. Fear is trying to help.

And… Trying to fight off fear by saying, “FUCK YOU, FEAR!” might as well be saying, “FUCK YOU, YOUNGER ME! YOU ARE THE WORST!” — Which… Y’know… Isn’t the kindest thing to do.

I’ve found that, if I push through fear and then retreat, the discomfort and mental/emotional soreness can last a long time… Making it difficult to get up and going again.

If, instead, I do something that scares me (and I’m not talking about handling snakes or lying with scorpions here; I’m talking about taking the actions I know in my heart I need to take in order to become my best self and, in turn, help raise the vibration of the earth) and then do the next thing, pretty soon I’m on the other side of it.

For those who’ve lost weight, you know what this is like. When overweight and struggling with inactivity and overeating, it feels like you’re behind this giant stone, pushing it. It’s exhausting, and it seems impossible that you’ll ever become fit again.

Once you consistently push on the stone enough, though, the momentum gets going to where it feels more like the stone is carrying you. Healthy decisions that used to baffle you become second nature. The daily walk becomes as normal as brushing teeth.

This is exactly how it works with opening our hearts, with taking chances, and with pursuing what we know we’re meant to pursue.

And I know, for me, it was difficult to hear my still inner voice at first. It was a hoarse whisper from decades of not listening to it. I’d come to a situation where a decision needed to be made and I’d be like, “HEY INNER WISDOM WHATTA YA THINK. WHAT SHOULD I DO.” And hear crickets in return.

In time, after listening to the voice and taking affirmative action, the guidance has become clearer. The voice louder. The path easier to traverse.

I am becoming spiritually fit. And it feels so fucking good.


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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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