Day 43 of 365: the challenge of feel-good emotions


Day 43 doodle.png

My doodle pen+pad just stopped working, so now we’re on to the written word portion.

I’m learning that I had never really allowed myself to fully feel into these states of being. I’d experience them in short spurts, and would quickly close my heart off to them…

(Because if I don’t feel good, then the drop into feeling bad won’t be so hard!)

^^ Cute.

NOW I am opening my heart to them in the same way I open my heart to the painful emotions.

And it’s sort of rocking my world.

Like… You know when you’ve had a big fight or a meltdown and feel exhausted the next day?

That’s how I feel. I have an emotional hangover from feeling really good.

I’m having to gently pet my amygdala, reminding myself that it’s okay and good and safe to feel the happy feel-good feelings. Because… What’s the worst that can happen? They don’t last? There’s pain? I’VE ALREADY GOT THE FEELING-PAIN THING DOWN PAT.

Inner Guidance says: Enjoy the moment for what it is, using the fact of impermanence as even more of a reason to ground into the present and fully inhabit your life. There is a natural ebb and flow to life, emotions included. Situations change. People change. Keep in mind, though, that there is an unending supply of these feelings. You’re not working with a limited supply. You needn’t hold off on feeling joy or excitement or love; they deserve your attention just as much as sadness, anger, and fear.

With elevated heart-rate and a twinge of over-analysis,

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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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